The courage of the Life, Delicately Balanced.

It is harder for us to see the hidden pain, the physical disabilities, and ailments are easily noticed.

Personal courage is almost always ambiguous.

Bravery and courage can be seen at every turn, if we are looking.

Courage may be moving on alone, to protect those left behind, and living with the pain of a decision made.

Bravery may be waking up every morning with thrashing reality of love lost.

Courage is stepping away from abuse to persevere.

Bravery is the strength to walk away — not toward anything, no where to go, no one to go to, just away.

Courage is endurance, to live; in the fog of reality.

Bravery is stepping back in to bring love home.

Courage is facing that demon head on.

Bravery is knowing he is just around the corner.

This kind of courage is rarely impulsive. Nor does it emerge from nowhere.

Whether you have survived a trauma or not, the psyche is still a dark forest of scars and tender spots. Each relationship is intricacy piled upon intricacy, fertile ground for misunderstanding, separation, perseverance, reunion and joy.

My life was:  Stay focused on staying busy.

I survive as I always have…I survived by keeping my emotions in check – by maintaining my composure and tucking it all away. I managed to stay under the radar, skating through without anyone truly remembering I was here….oh, to stand out would have been unthinkable. Life in my world, was designed to stay busy, less time to dwell…You can’t control what you, are not responsible for…so you carry on, life carries on. I guess you just don’t pay attention. I think you’re too busy attempting to fade…until one day, you realize; I don’t need to hide, I don’t need to keep my head down. I have survived!

My husband and children are awesome; my life full of hope and love.

A life clearly marked with moments of struggle and overcoming.

Courage, determination, pride…that’s what little girls are made of.

Joy!

Be well,

Jess

‘Merica

Some words can be carry their meaning across hundreds of years and thousands of tears. These are such words. We need to find our pride and resolve. Come together as one. Stop fighting each other. Build on our strength and God given resources, treat all peoples with equality without saying so. Love all not some. What constitutes an American? Not color nor race nor religion. Not the pedigree of his family nor the place of his birth. Not the coincidence of his citizenship. Not his social status nor his bank account. Not his trade nor his profession. An American is one who loves justice and believes in the dignity of man. An American is one who will fight for his freedom and that of his neighbor. An American is one who will sacrifice property, ease and security in order that he and his children may retain the rights of free men. An American is one in whose heart is engraved the immortal second sentence of the Declaration of Independence..

“They tell us, sir, that weareweak; unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be the next week, or the next year? Will it be when we are totally disarmed, and when a British guard shall be stationed in every house? Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot? Sir, we are not weak if we make a proper use of those means which the God of nature hath placed in our power.”
― Patrick Henry

A general dissolution of principles and manners will more surely overthrow the liberties of America than the whole force of the common enemy. While the people are virtuous they cannot be subdued; but when once they lose their virtue then will be the ready to surrender their liberties to the first internal or external invader” –

Samuel Adams

“May our land be a land of liberty, the seat of virtue, the asylum of the oppressed a name an d a praise in the whole earth, until the last shock of time shall bury the empires of the whole world in one common undistinguished ruin!”

Joseph Warren

“The American flag doesn’t give her glory on a peaceful, calm day. It’s when the winds pick up and become boisterous, do we see her strength. When she unfolds her hand, and shows her frayed fingers, where we see the stretch of red-blood lines of man that fought for this land. The purity of white stripes that strips our sins, and the stars of Abraham’s covenant, broad in a midnight blue sky. The rights our forefathers established. As it waves high in the currents of freedom, where the Torch of Liberty shines over the sea, does she give meaning to unity. When we strive as one nation, or when it drops half-mast, to a fallen soldier.” Anthony Liccione.

Enjoy America’s Day of Independence.

They warn us to not align ourselves with a patriot view on social media, so as not to bring the attention of evil doers. How can this be? Bravery in the face of adversary is what our country was built on; how can we cower now?

Brave is when you have to do something because you know it is right, but at the same time, you are afraid to do it. Do it anyway.

Best,

Jess

Complication is an Understatement

It has been quite a summer, I don’t feel as though I am any further ahead than when I began.

I do suppose, our crazy, busy, complicated lives are very different, though much the same.

I

We try to keep it simple; life is a lot.

A lot of dreams. A lot of work. A lot of family and friends. A lot of expectations and a lot responsibilities.

Inevitably there is a lot of juggling.

The juggling game changes from time to time, it moves from juggling your own needs with the needs of sick family member; their needs take momentary precedence.

The juggling changes when a loved one enters your life anew. You welcome the ball changes.

Life is never enough.

Never enough time.

It flies by, try as  you might to capture it, holding it close so that it doesn’t slip through your fingers…then it’s gone.

Years pass, you hardly notice.

Wish as you might, they are gone.

Never enough energy. There is always one more task to be completed.

Just when you think you’ve reached capacity, another undertaking manifests. You find a new spark.

You do.

Would it be conjecture to say you feel the same?

Accomplishing more than you ever thought possible.

Daring to dream of that which should be unattainable.

Be well,

Jess

 

 

Rainbows

Indian Lore, Celebrate Earth Day a day late.

There was an old lady, from the Cree tribe, named Eyes of Fire, who prophesied that one day, because of the (man’s) Yo-ne-gis’ greed, there would come a time, when the fish would die in the streams, the birds would fall from the air, the waters would be blackened, and the trees would no longer be.

There would come a time when the “keepers of the legend, stories, culture rituals, and myths, and all the ancient customs” would be needed to restore us to health. They would be mankinds’ key to survival, they were the “Warriors of the Rainbow”.

All the peoples would form a new world of justice, peace, freedom and recognition. The Warriors of the Rainbow would teach them how to live the “Way of the Great Spirit”.

They would tell them why our earth is sick, they would show the peoples that this (the Great Spirit), is full of love and understanding, and teach them how to make the Earth or “Elohi” beautiful again. They would teach of Harmony among people in all four corners of the Earth.

Once again, they would be able to feel joy in solitude and in councils. They would be free of petty jealousies and love all mankind as their brothers, regardless of color, race or religion. They would feel happiness enter their hearts, and become as one with the entire human race. Their hearts would be pure and radiate warmth, understanding and respect for all mankind, Nature, and the Great Spirit.

They would once again fill their minds, hearts, souls, and deeds with the purest of thoughts. They would seek the beauty of the Master of Life — the Great Spirit! They would find strength and beauty and the solitudes of life. Their children would once again be able to run free and enjoy the treasures of nature.

The rivers would again run clear, the forests be abundant and beautiful, the animals and birds would be replenished. The powers of the plants and animals would again be respected and conservation of all that is beautiful would become a way of life.

The poor, sick and needy would be cared for by their brothers and sisters of the Earth. These practices would again become a part of their daily lives. The leaders of the people would be chosen in the old way ~ by those whose actions spoke the loudest. Those who demonstrated their love, wisdom, and courage and those who showed that they could and did work for the good of all, would be chosen as the leaders or Chiefs.

They would be chosen by their “quality” and not the amount of money they had obtained. Like the thoughtful and devoted “Ancient Chiefs”, they would understand the people with love, and see that their young were educated with the love and wisdom of their surroundings.

They would show them that miracles can be accomplished to heal this world of its ills, and restore it to health and beauty. The tasks of these “Warriors of the Rainbow” are many and great.

There will be terrifying mountains of ignorance to conquer and they shall find prejudice and hatred. They must be dedicated, unwavering in their strength, and strong of heart. They will find willing hearts and minds that will follow them on this road of returning earth to beauty.

It will be with this knowledge that we shall find our “Key to our Survival”.

Be well,

Jess

Counting Sheep…

As per the norm, it is 3 am; I lie awake in a silent house. Well, nearly silent; my dogs are snoring and the rain is falling gently on the roof. As soothing as that sounds (ahem), I can not fall asleep.

I finish a few gardening articles on web, then cruise on over to check on the weather; perhaps I can do bit more out of doors tomorrow. Tornado warnings flashing across my screen, instantly questioning my choice of reading material. Like a driver gawking at an accident, I delve in…from Texas to Thunder Bay. Now that I’m actively worrying about half of the US what will a few more words and pictures hurt, I ask myself.

Oh, silly girl. You should have counted sheep.

I should check in on Cecelia, she is near Chicago, you know.  I’ll go to her Facebook page. Because of course during a Tornado, she will head straight to Facebook – ‘cuz that’s what you do to prepare for the sort of thing ?!

This is just the sort of thing a brain does in the early hours of the morning ~ construe nonsense.

Then I see storms in Texas, Shannon and her beautiful family…

All the away up to Michigan, is Karen ok, and her llamas?

Yeah, I feel ready to sleep now!

The rain continues to fall.

Maybe I will just just count sheep.

Howie’s alarm is about to go off, good night.

Be well,
Jess

It’s Spring, Let’s clean.

The gardens of course. You didn’t think I was dusting, did you? ( I clean a bit every day, so no big spring clean for me.)

Back to the task at hand. The gardens. (How quickly I am diverted). March weather was so fickle and was terribly miserable here in Upstate, NY. Not much could be done to tidy the garden, really it was mostly covered in snow until the last week end in March. No telling what havoc Old Man Winter has wreaked ’til the snow is gone.

I have to resist, there is temptation to pull back the mulch protecting fragile plantings, eager to see any sign of new growth. The mulch, the protector, I so carefully lay before the frost, gives shelter from sudden changes of temperature and chilling winds, keeping cozy this fragile growth. It’s still winter here, essentially. The ground was white this morning. (If I quietly turn away, maybe it will take its leave.)

(I thought of finding a more attractive picture, but this is really how it looks – ugly. Let’s keep it real)

Tempering myself, I’ll slowly remove the mulch as the days and weeks become steadily warmer,
I tell myself, it is much better to remove the mulch a little later than to remove it to early. I try to hurry Mother Nature, to no avail. I love Spring anyway.

Don’t forget to clean out your birdhouses early before the birds begin nesting again. I haven’t seen the bluebirds yet, but others have.

While it will be awhile before the season of blooms arrive, my garden list is readied for season.  I can’t plant  during this early spring, (I haven’t even been able to get peas in the ground); I bide my time.

Maybe this weekend there will be enough of a thaw.

Finn Remembers.

The frost line was very deep this year. Even inhibiting maple production) there are some chores I’ll do to get it in shape before the real gardening begins.

Give my old clay pots a wash; a good scrub using a solution of baking soda and water.
I’ll clean around and map out the area for new garden beds. (that may be a good job for the girls, they live for this sort of thing. Don’t you Simone?)

Don’t let this photo fool you, they really wanna help.

This is how they work, great team aren’t they?

While I’m at it, I should try to remember where I planted spring bulbs. Do you remember? You were there, weren’t you? If you remember, please share; I wouldn’t want to dig them up.

I don’t think they were paying attention. Chickens can be like that you know.

Alternating thawing and freezing can tear plant roots and even force the plant right out of the ground. If I notice any plants that have heaved, I push them back right back where they belong – into the soil, and pack the soil lightly with my foot.

Ooh we can’t wait for green, Revie and I. Of course, she’ll be more interested in nibbling than helping. But, who can blame her.

As soon as I see new growth,  I’ll divide and transplant summer blooming perennials and fertilize (with llama beans) the plants in there forever beds.

Is there a forever in gardens, nah, let’s just move on.

Spinach, Chard, Cabbage, Cauliflower, and other hardy vegetables will be started from seed late in the month. Lord willing and the creek don’t rise.

Well, come on girls, we have work to do.  Hey, wait; where are you going? Girls? Girls?

Be well,

Jess

Things I know…

If I must admit it; I am but a creative soul who may be hard to understand, impossible to second-guess, and known to follow the voice of instinct that no-one else can hear…not to mention understand.

My life can not be torn  from the pages of a story book, it is much more complex than that. I am a tear stained, giggle filled , tragically heartbroken, happily ever-after. To put the words of my life on paper would draw pause and speculation; can this truly be?

I am.

I am that girl who believes in guardian angels, magic, hard work, tenacity, and family.

I believe in love, the Lord,forever friends, and miracles.

I know that no life is easy and that the past is the past.

I know that working for something makes it worth having.

I know that nothing is free and everything is complicated.

Time is precious, and money should not rule all.

Love and trust must be earned, and that honesty is essential.

Change is the only constant.

I know too much is never enough, hope is eternal, happiness is relative to your thoughts.

People should be loved for who they are.

Confidence is fragile. Quitting is not an option, but you must know when it is over.

Contentment is the ultimate goal.

I know that to really appreciate the good times you must trudge through the horrible.

I know my strengths and my weaknesses.

I know I can not live a scripted life, I am far too much of a wanderer of spirit. Always seeking.

I am me. I can. I will. End of story.

Be well.

Jess

Maundy Thursday.

In the Roman Catholic Church, Lent officially ends at sundown on Holy Thursday (Maundy Thursday), with the beginning of the mass of the Lord’s Supper.

The period of forty fast days and Sundays before Easter are known as Lent.  For penance this year I chose to give up Facebook. Sounds strange doesn’t it? Shouldn’t I have given up sweets, or beer ( i don’t drink beer, so that would be too easy). I chose not to forego desserts, I had fasted from them for 3 months, as I prayed for my niece’s health, healing and peace. I had become accustomed to being with out sugar. I thought I had better choose another vice, one that I spent far too much productive time viewing.

It wasn’t easy at first. My thumb would find itself hovering over the icon on my phone, or iPad  far too easily almost instinctively. It was a hard habit to break.

My (few and far between) twitter posts found their way to my page, as did my Pinterest activity. I saw the increasing number of posts waiting to be read; tempting just one quick click.

I did (I admit) check once or twice, on my Sister Gina’s post…just to be sure of her.

Here I am, facing the end of Lent and hoping I don’t fall back into the pattern of wasted time.

Be well, Take the light of the Lord with you wherever you go.

Jess

Comfort.

Do you sometimes feel too comfortable, like you need to shake things up a bit to keep from standing still?

Is there some deep down craving, a story left untold, a path grown over from lack of treading? Or is it just me that has to push, to find detours, over mountainous obstacles, brought to a dead end; only to turn around, catch my breath only to be propelled forward yet again.

Its only human, I suppose, to want to hide from change. To stay snugged in your box of contentment.  Why venture out; it’s warm and cozy there.

We should leave our lives open to serendipity; creative souls are not meant to be boxed in. There are discoveries out there that may make our hearts quiver, or shake us to our souls.

(Howie is so cute in his hat.) You only have to take the chance. Bring a friend, or go it alone.

Come out from behind your self imposed barriers, (yes, you Sidney)

We have dreams, we have fears to conquer. (Well, Sidney; I do)

We have an adventure ahead. Let’s not waste a moment. (You’re not coming with me, are you Sidney?)

How does the saying go? ” “I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way!” (No wonder Sidney doesn’t wanna come.)

Maybe Cicely will come? Maybe not.

Be well,

Jess

Butterflies and Ruby

Why do I associate Ruby with butterflies? I’m not real sure, to be honest.

It may be that at the time she was born my beautiful niece Courtney was terribly ill. Butterflies and babies are hope. Oh, and she was a marvelous baby, with a sweet, spunky demeanor. A face you immediately fall in love with.

I tend, as you do, to find beauty in things I love. Photographing these things is only natural; capturing the simple things in our lives, where we go and where we’ve been.

(Ruby loving on a friend.)

It may be that butterflies are a lesson of letting go, their beauty is only with us for a short time. As was our beautiful Courtney. Her beauty, deep within, touching every facet of our lives. She became our glue. She kept our hearts close, our spirits yearning for one more minute.

Courtney, with butterfly’s wings will fly gracefully and beautifully; a gentle dance on the breeze, from flower to flower.

“I like living, I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.” ~ Agatha Christie

Be well,

Jess