Hope. It draws pictures; it weaves fancies; it fills the future with delight. Our perceptions are always colored by what we hope, what we fear, what we love. We do the best we can. I did the best I could.
Here on our farm we have been faced with choices; life and death choices on a few occasions within a week. These kinds of choices are never easy, never to be taken lightly. What is best? For the animal? For you? For society? Questions and answers to be weighed heavily with love. With hope. With faith. Am I doing the right thing? right for whom? Does the decision have to be the right one for everyone?
These questions in life; these types of decisions…the answers can only be found deep in your heart,your soul really. you dig deep, sleep on it, then dig some more.
Lost in oblivion, dark and silent and complete, I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom. When left with a sense of despair- perhaps you have your answer. There is no hope. Not now. Not for them. It is time to let them go,to me, to hold on…would be holding on for me; for reasons purely selfish. Loss of quality of life, end suffering was our answer. The right answer some would say, wrong others with argue. to those who disagree with decisions made in moments of despair; I say, “You can’t lose hope when it’s hopeless. You gotta hope more, then put your fingers in your ears and go: “Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah!” I Hope and I pray they found peace. freedom from pain, freedom from torment. You see,beginnings can be scary, endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts the most. So Live! As we live, we learn, you’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you’ll never be hurt. Love freely. love completely. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.
I told myself; after days of agonizing contemplation don’t be afraid to make a choice… everyone will have their opinion of what is right, what is wrong…there is no “one size fits all: answer. Jessica, do your best with what you have been given.” I hope I did.
Enjoy the present, each moment as it comes, because you’ll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart, where your hope lives. You’ll find your way again.
Rest peacefully; Riley and Sweet Phantom. You are loved, always.