I can see the light through the woods…

I feel as though, I am falling behind; Behind what? I am not sure…a feeling caused by holiday commercialism I suppose. I know Christmas is 39 days, 15 hours and 14 minutes away – yet I feel as though I missed something. Maybe I missed setting out my Holiday decor in October, or I missed a big shopping deadline. Oh, maybe my Christmas cards should have been sent weeks ago…

Sometimes,I feel as though Holiday Commercialism is being jammed down our throats – sideways. It’s the same every year. As soon as Halloween hits it’s much like opening the starting gate of the Travers in Saratoga. We’re off for the Christmas race – there is shopping, baking, wrapping, mailing…baking…buying, baking… By the time thew holiday arrives, all we are left with is an exhausted spirit, frayed nerves, and a worn out body. Is the mad dash to the Christmas finish line really worth it? Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy, peace and goodwill!

Now don’t get me wrong, I adore (yes,adore) the Holidays. I wait with great anticipation for family and friends to arrive on Thanksgiving. I prep myself weeks in advance for our annual football game (well, I ran once- that counts). I write my lists, being sure not to forget anything, (like figgy pudding or fruitcake) ’cause those items would be easy to forget, wouldn’t they.
I live for the day we head out in search of the perfect Christmas trees; Christmas cookie baking day, and caroling. These are the “things” I love; the traditions, time spent with family and loved ones.

I think I will just turn off the television, thus turning off the noise and the pressure. I will turn on the radio- to an all Christmas all the time station – the day after Thanksgiving as I don our home in in holiday greens and candles. I will feel content in my slow, but orderly countdown to the holidays…I will. There is a light in the woods.

Be well, and feel free to slow down…
Jess

evening…the day exhales

Inspiration found. With the setting sun comes evening chores; the water, the grain mixed with the appropriate amount of beet/soy mixture; chickens fed, their eaters filled (and de-mudded – thank you dear ducks), hay carried, barns floors mucked, and wheel barrows pushed…yet, last night the evening sky was full of color and vibrancy. We lingered, the dogs and I; sitting at the edge of a pasture.

The llamas seemed in no particular hurry to be fed. They milled about eyeing us, and nibbling on any persistent grass leaves that dare to brave the frost and snow showers. Llamas silhouetted against the setting sun.

It was one of those nights..where you feel as though everything will be ok. There was no reason to be afraid – of anything. It helped me remember—and I need to remember. Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, and despite all of the uncertainty in our lives and the lives of those we love – it will be ok.

While it may look different for all of us, I suppose this is the feeling we wait for in life: a sense that there’s boundless beauty out there, and we have the capacity to feel, channel, explore, and express it. We just have to slow down, open up, step outside of ourselves long enough to see it.

Notice what really matters…

Sing out loud! Although, at my house, I would dole out ear plugs first..to the humans. My animals don’t seem to mind that I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.

Let go! Sometimes.

Tomorrow, My husband and I are traveling to NYC to bring my Sister and Courtney home. If all goes well her transplant can happen after Christmas. Thank you for all of your good thoughts and prayers!

Be Well,
Jess

Courtney update…

I haven’t forgotten all of you…

“If I can see pain in your eyes then share with me your tears. If I can see joy in your eyes then share with me your smile.”
― Santosh Kalwar

Courtney had a good night, she woke up this morning, wanting to eat (she has lost 44 lbs) She ate her breakfast; and kept it down. My sister,Gina is going to venture out to find Courtney some cream of tomato soup…which she woke up wanting this morning. Her chest tube is still in place, as is her IV. Waiting for conclusive test results, and the possibility of a liver transplant.

Keep her in your thoughts and prayers please.

I’m uncertain about what the day may hold as the hospital took on more patients from Bellevue Hospital (it was evacuated) yesterday. If anything changes, I will let you all know.

God is our comforter. In times of trial, anxiety, and struggles He is our comfort. May our hearts be open to comfort the sick, their family, the caregivers, those affected by Sandy, the defeated, the frustrated and those who need his LOVE.

The God of all comfort comes to us as we pray and seek Him with all of our heart. He is there.

The Comforter has come. “Praise be to G-d and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God”

Be well,
Jess

Prayer and Love…

Love and Prayer are all we have, the only way that each can help the other…

Courtney (read here) needs your prayers.

Love is a force more formidable than any other. Invisible; it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform any moment, and offer more joy and relief than we could ever imagine.

Thank you, and Be Well.
Jess

“What day is it?” Wordless (sorta) Wednesday

“What day is it?”
“It’s Wednesday, and the sky is blue,
and I have nothing else to do,
I sometimes wonder if it’s true
That who is what and what is who.”
- Winnie-the-Pooh” (sorta)
― A.A. Milne

“How do you spell ‘love’?” – Piglet
“You don’t spell it…you feel it.” – Pooh”
― A.A. Milne

“The things that make me different are the things that make me.”

“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.

“His dress told her nothing, but his face told her things which she was glad to know.”

Quotations are handy thing to have about, saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself, always a laborious business…clearly. Oh, but I do love Pooh.
Be well, Jess

Tagged, dodged, now I am it…and the winner is?

The Tag Blogathon

Carolyn, over at the ABC of Spirit Talk tagged me a few weeks back..time stops for no-one…

Listed Below Are The Rules Of Said “Tag Blogathon”…
1. Each person tagged must post 11 things about themselves.
2. They must also answer the 11 questions the ‘tagger’ has set for them.
3. They must create 11 more questions to ask bloggers they have decided to tag.
4. They must then choose 11 bloggers and tag them in their post.
5. These lucky bloggers must then be told.
6. There are no tag backs.

11 things about me…?

1. I re-arrange my house almost monthly (so, don’t come in, in the dark thinking you know where to walk)
2. I doodle…. when I am bored, at a stop light, at restaurants…well, when I am waiting for anything really, and my doodles are almost always trees and flowers…
3. I can’t imagine a life without animals.
4.I love windy days…the kind of days that make the autumn leaves swirl about our feet.
5.I wish I had more than one lens…I struggle to capture all of life through a 50mm lens ( Oh, wait this is not a wish list is it?) Ah, well.
6. I could not live in a city.(I just returned from 2 days in NYC)
7. I adore hot apple cider.
8. I have a gigantic sweet tooth.
9. My family and I have 16 llamas, 2 dogs, 2 ducks, 5 chickens…I wish for a larger farm
10. I am afraid of heights.
11. I need a bigger barn. (right, that’s another wish, isn’t it?)

Carolyn’s 11 questions for me to answer: I will ask you to answer these as well, I found them intriguing.

1. What is your most favourite thing to do on weekends..!?!
Catch up with my husband.
2. How many days does it take to complete your Christmas shopping..?
Too many and not enough, I love, love Christmas, dislike commercialism; I love to buy presents for loved ones…
3. If you were an animal what would you be, and why?
A llama, oh, to be so calm and wise…
4. Were you to have your druthers (choice), what would your days be like?
To fill my days with sharing, I dream of opening a shop…a general store sort of shop, you know, the kind that
sells baked, goods, and yarns, and animal care needs, right along side beautiful things…a place to recharge and
step back in time..
5. If money grew on trees, what type of trees would you grow?
Maple Money trees…
6. Who is your favourite historical person?
Mary Harris Jones. Known as “Mother” an Irish immigrant who lost her family to yellow fever and became the self-
proclaimed mother and “hell-raiser” for the downtrodden American laborer, especially children.
7. What is your fave food, and why?
A good grilled cheese sandwich with creamy tomato soup…satisfies my hunger and soothes my soul
8. Jazz, Blues or Rock ‘n Roll, and favourite artist?
Ella Fitzgerald; a poor and homeless girl had a big heart and an even bigger dream…I may be able to relate to
some of that]…Billie Holiday , a close second
9. Do you miss your youth? If yes, why?
Yes, and no…my youth was full of struggles, and survival..I miss the idea of youth I guess.
10. Snow or Beach?
snow. Nothing is a magical as a sunrise over freshly fallen snow…
11. What is your all time great movie?
Sound of Music. Hands down.

I know the tag-a-thon asks me to nominate 11 bloggers, yet, I wish to hear from all of you…even if you wish to answer one of these questions, or a few. Have fun with it, I did.

I haven’t written a blog in a bit, life can be full sometimes…I have been contemplating all of the ideas and thoughts around the Farm banner design and Christmas card give-away…
I have chosen a winner…I love the simple yet, effective thought of filling the truck with hay, and having it blowing in the breeze, creating movement as he said…Josh Cookfair! Thank you all for sending me all of your wonderfully creative ideas, some of which I will incorporate into my Christmas cards, if not the farm banner itself.

Be well,
Jess

A quick whiffle…

Maybe it’s the gentle humm, a quick whiffle as you greet them, those big soft eyes framed by lashes that go on forever…whatever it is; it is something special. Llamas. if you sit and just ‘be’ with a llama, you can’t help getting caught in the magic.

I melt a little…

Happy Weekend, Be well,

Of all the best that can come true….

“How can you get very far,
If you don’t know who you are?
How can you do what you ought,
If you don’t know what you’ve got?
And if you don’t know which to do
Of all the things in front of you,
Then what you’ll have when you are through
Is just a mess without a clue
Of all the best that can come true
If you know What and Which and Who.”
― Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

Lexi was such a cute pup, she’s still cute just 120lbs. bigger. She would really rather be outside chasing her ball, but it is a rainy, rainy day here on the farm…

rainy days…

Soggy llamas…silly girls go in the dry shelter…

This is how I will spend the day..spinning with tea near by…perfect for a damp cool September day.
Then, maybe I will bake a Quiche or apple pie for tonight, then, maybe…design a new farm display banner..the resonating silence in the house is deafening some days – like today it is louder than others. Yet, I am filled to the brim pride and joy in watching my children make their way in this fast changing world, and the relief I feel in seeing their successes. I am so in love with them!
Happiness is: someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to…I am adjusting to my new normal.

***for some reason, though I have not changed any settings, my photos and text are not aligning; any suggestions on how to correct this?
Be Well,
Jessica

life is delicately balanced, but the scales never evenly hung…

Have you ever been so busy, you had to remember to breathe…(or blog?)

On a messy childhood. Stay focused on staying busy. Courage, determination, pride…that’s what little girls are made of.
I survive as I always have…I survived by keeping my emotions in check – by maintaining my composure and tucking it all away. I managed to stay under the radar, skating through without anyone truly remembering I was here….oh, to stand out would have been unthinkable. Life in my world, was designed to stay busy, less time to dwell…You can’t control what you, as a child are not responsible for…so you carry on, life carries on. I guess you just don’t pay attention. I think you’re too busy attempting to fade…until one day, you realize; I don’t need to hide, I don’t need to keep my head down. I have survived! My husband and children are awesome; my life full of hope and love. Our family has been blessed with a beautifully perfect baby girl; my Step-Son and his beautiful wife are all doing fantastic. A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.

Sometimes”, said Pooh, “the smallest things take up the most room in your heart”

Our hearts are full, perhaps with whatever we choose to put in them…I choose joy!
Be Well,
Jess

Andy

Behind every set of eyes, there is a story. Sometimes it’s a happy story, with all parts being pleasant and easy. Sometimes they are stories of perseverance, strength and sheer determination to live. The latter is what this beautiful soul represents. His life has been a struggle from the moment life initiated his birth. His Mother weakened by a hard labor succumbed to illness and passed away not quite 3 months later. He was born a survivor, determined to live. He is beautiful. He is soulful and gentle; he is Andy.

LaDonna Brave Bull Allard, Lakota (Sioux), 2002
Indian people have a different relationship with everything around them because we spent
a lot of time with the animals, not looking at them as a different entity but looking at
them as part of who we are. So if this animal got sick over there, you watched, you knew
you had to watch whatever that animal was doing, because it would affect you. If your
environment was sick your people would be sick. It was all the same, all integrated into
one. Like trees their roots grow way down into the earth and you can’t separate them.
That’s why when we lived here everything we did we had to do for future generations.

He always had love…

Be well,
Jess